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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Linden Makeover: Dirt & Pink Concrete

Again, with apologies...

There's an old question in the real estate business: Would you rather live in a nice house, or across the street from one? It's a question that defines you for the agent.

Now, I'm not sure the Lindens were asked this question when they were house-hunting, but a cheerful "Welcome home Mr. Linden!" never seems to echo from the neighbor across the street.

We are, of course, going to have to do something about all the dirt. I'm not sure why everyone makes such a big deal about dirt. I mean, everyone in the neighborhood has about an equal amount of it. It's just that the Lindens seem to flaunt it. We probably should sequester the riches beneath some attractive shrubbery. (With irrigation.)

To the left of the tree, that's not a second tree. That's a branch from the one tree actually growing downward, no doubt depressed from the lack of irrigation. Someone bring a chainsaw.

The cactus is nice...

It stays. Holly loves it. Plus: the value of a good cactus cannot be understated. If the utilities ever get shut off, why, we'll need it for water! A few supplemental dry-weather fountain grasses, some compressed granite, and it'll be a nice Xeriscape. (Also note: one set too many of house addresses.)

But there's a little too much Xeri in this Xeriscape:

Matt wants to grow a grapevine fence along these steel posts. This sounds like a wonderful idea! It may take a hundred years, but in the end it will be a thing of beauty and the envy of all Lemon Grove. Let's help him get started on that project. Pruning and training the vines will be a nice distraction for the man, keeping his mind off of...


It's everywhere. It has to go. I'll say it again: Marsupial's bowels. I'm not sure who invented pink concrete or why, but his place in the nether world is assured. The heavy stuff is trucked in a ton at a time, the workmen snickering to themselves, and then abandoned. I believe it actually gets pinker with age, but it surely doesn't get any prettier. Nowadays you see concrete tinted in nice earth tones like "tan" and "brown" -this I can understand. But pink? If we all work together, we can have it buried at the bottom of the landfill by nightfall.


ML said...

Dude, the pink concrete was there when we bought the place.

And no need to haul it away! the neighbors on either side will carry it off for free if you stack it in the driveway!

HB said...

What's really pink right now is my face.